Day 29

To the person I want to tell everything to, but too afraid to.

Who are you? Do you know who you are first, before you want to know me completely. This may sound something like a refusing devil's pact, I'm not gonna sell myself out to just anyone, you have to earn that right. I want and would tell you everything, but then I don't know how I'd cope with the reaction, the way you look at me. Some thing are better left unbeknownst to you, unless you want to know, but if you think something's up, you'd have to come find me, I'm not going to crawl up to your doorpost and just do it without knowing if you want to know or not. So, there you have it :P Do you exist? That's the question. -B.

EPC (also Day 28)

The moment I got news that the class lists were out at the very beginning of the year (or the very end of last year, can't actually place it). I was like "Please let me have friends that I already know, please please please." Then I saw the list, someone posted it on Facebook. Going through the list, I smirked, seeing Weng Hei, Li Wen, Tien Sern and some others that I've already known for awhile, the first being since we were mere kindergarteners. (♥) But seeing all these unfamiliar names, made me sceptical about whether this is going to be a good year. I remember XY responding to my friendly hello-nice-to-meet-you comment on the class list, the first person to talk to me since I became officially a 4S3ian (or Ehstrian as we like to call it) the name just sticks, doesn't it? Now, 10 (closing in on 11) months into the year, wow things have certainly changed. It's natural that groups will form, people with similar interests, characters and what no will flock together, forming inseparably bonds of friendship and anyone would be hard-pressed to break. It's not on purpose (okay maybe a little) but it happens. And thus the birth of EPC and the unnamed back-of-the-class gang which we refer to as the DaiLouBong, but by the end of the day, We're all still Ehstrians. Like Malaysians without the racial differences, equal.

The Epic Poetry Club, or more commonly referred to as the acronym EPC, came into light when the group was created under the name Ehstrians Porn Club (which now I see is just wrong), on the 3rd of July 2011. Because the formation of the group was based on a bunch of horny bastards :P Obviously now, less of the perversion, we've matured :P The group was ACTUALLY created because I felt like we're annoying the other people in the Ehstrians Facebook group chat, so to avoid any unnecessary banter, why not move? Damn, I had more to write last night but I got chased off the computer, instant memory loss. To date, EPC has 17 members, but the core group is always myself, Tek, XY, Jay, Kyan, Hong, Alvin, Jean and Xiang and our latest addition, a non-Ehstrian -- Meshell, my dear sista. Sure, we may seem like people of randomness and talk like whores (maybe that's just me :X) but like I said, the inseparable bond is well, inseparable (WOW, I never would have known, thank you Einstein, geez) WHAT'S MORE, some of those bonds grew stronger. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. (To those who don't either you're epically blunt, or just blind). That (and Tek's blogpost) reminded me of the games of Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle (Correction fluid bottle), oh the sweet memories. But why dwell on the past? We've grown up, facing life in one-way-or-another, together or on our own, that's up to us individually, nobody should dictate the way another lives, but in the end, the answer is usually together.

"Win together, lose together, TEAMMATES!"
-Troy Bolton; High School Musical

Bonded over the times we had during the class trip back in September, my first trip sans parents. And it was I think, the most fucking awesome trip I've ever had. No boundaries, no rules (other than self-imposed ones, or that'd sound slutty) just food (okay maybe not so much of that) and friends, fun and sun, sea and wind. Which reminds me, I haven't told the story of that trip yet. I'll just include it here then. Key points are mainly, how awesome I think the ocean is (IT'S A FUCKING AWESOME PLACE), so, I was like "Sod it, my clothes will get dirty anyway, and went to feel the cool waters on the first day, when we were SUPPOSED to visit a temple thingy. (Don't get me wrong, nothing religious -_- I just needed the water :D) So, sandy feet in a shoe full of sand, trod past the front facade of the hotel and to our apartment room to clean-up. AND I TELL YOU. THE WHOLE FLOOR WAS SAND AFTER THAT, ugh. Anyway, while the rest of the crew went swimming and played ball, at that time I didn't know what or how it is. Weng Hei....due to personal matters, couldn't join them in the water. So me and her went for a walk on the beach, and got caught by Mr. Lim on the way out of the hotel. (LOL) And we stayed up late talking, playing truth or dare, until 1am then some were like "I'm gonna pass out soon" (tacitly of course) so in the end, we stopped there. BUT! But, I couldn't sleep, because the room was friggin' cold and SOMEONE was pulling MY blanket away from ME. The nerve (joking, chill bro :P). And so I tried many attempts to keep my feet within the confines of the blanket, which didn't work much in the end I just sat there, and suddenly Jay woke up (odd) and sat on the floor (even more odd) and then I apparently fell asleep, for what? Half an hour? IN WHICH THE TIME, HE SAID I SNORED LIKE A COW (okay maybe not in those words, and actually I don't mind :P Overly dramatic me :X) Supposed to wake up at, uhh THREE-THIRTY, to watch the sunrise. (Gosh, the sun doesn't rise at 3.30am, nothing does -.-) in the end postpone to 5.30, and still had to wait until about 6.40 before the sun came up. So we sat on the beach, me talking to my half-awake friends. And some of the others went to the other side of the beach, for what, I don't know.

Tek's manning the camera (xiang's iP3Gs)

Sunrise wasn't spectacular, what did we do after that again? Went biking I think, then island hopping, the usual things. And captain ball in the evening, that was the game they played the day before. DAMN FUN YOU KNOW? I remember blocking Kyan from view. Don't know why, but I was the only EPCian, not with the others. :/ But still, awesomeness. Wait, this post is supposed to be on EPC :/ I shall put this part in quotation then. Anyway, during the truth or dare. SECRETS WERE REVEALED (kind of the point of the game actually) and some were totally expected, others just mindfucked me for a moment, then I realized "I knew it!" -.- Okay not going to go too far in detail, all in all, it was the time of my life (at that moment). I'd go back to September all the time (haha, no I wouldn't some, unpleasant, things happened in that month also, but still, awesome.) EPCians are my best friends, no, better, friends I can count on, that will be there, real friends. Can talk about anything for hours with no end, unless someone has to go that is. Tolerate each other's flaws and appreciate the awesomeness.

I've gotten SO VERY attached at one point, that I even refused to go out to dinner, just because I'd miss out on something, but oh well. Can't starve myself for too long (Starving now actually -.-) Now, it isn't THAT BAD any more, thanks to some...incidents a while back :X

Point is, I'll be here to lend a hand (or an ear, if needed) whenever you need. Sure, I'm an insulting bitch in group chats :P But, I'm not an insensitive one (okay maybe sometimes, that's not the point). So, consult me at any time, for any thing, always open-minded me :P

Through them, I've discovered myself, the side I've always doubted, the loud-mouthed sassy bitch. Used to be a quiet, collected introvert. Things have changed in 10 months. And I look forward to more change in the coming days, for the better or for the worse, change will come anyway, just have to adapt to it. Like how I've adapted to some things that the person involved will understand this sentence :P Unlike Tek, I won't say "Friends Forever", because that sounds lame HAHAHAHA (no offense). But, you all will always be in my heart, for as long as I live, memory failure will not erase what we have going on here and in the coming days (I used 'coming days' twice already, damn...now I sound lame). What more can I say? My life is almost completely orientated around you people, that I'd thought in the way beginning we'd never get along. That's a good thing, the completely orientated part, it means I can't live without you guys, never can I picture my life without you. This is beginning to sound sappy. So I should stop here and continue some other time.

I love you. Aku cinta akan kamu. Wo ai ni. Aishiteru. Saranghaeyo. ♥

Day 27

Most friendly people don't just know someone for one day, they leave a good impression on people, for that they garner many friends. Maybe it means, you got to know them the last day they were in town or something.

Personally, I don't have any one-day friends. My friends are all long-term, fall outs are inevitable but we work our way around it, but anyhoo, here goes.

To the friendliest person I knew for only one day,

Why did we only know each other for one day? If you're that awesome, and obviously I'm awesome, then we should stay friends longer, or forever (I have my doubts on the latter). So there's basically nothing to say to you, I tried :P

B.

Day 26

To the last person I made a pinky promise to.
Dear Jayden.

Yeah, pinky promise. But alas, I forgot why we pinky promised. I know my memory is horrible, so my apologies, but whatever it was probably already umm...realized? Oh wait, I remember something about, like the 1st Ehstrians gathering, or the concert night, or the Ehstrians Pangkor trip. Either one, take your pick. Sorry,  the queen's slave. Yay. :D Okay I'm too tired and lazy to write more. I wanted to but yeah. So, cheers!

B.

Day 25

To the person I know that is going through the worst of times.
To myself,

You flunked your mid-terms, but don't let the bastards get you down. You are beautiful in your way. And awesome, don't forget awesome. Since you're me, I can say that, 'Awesome ends with ME.' Emotional control is crucial in times like this, and being the optimist you are, give yourself one tight slap for just that nanosecond you spent depressed that day. So what if you results suck? So what? Will the world end? Don't think so. Will you die? Not at all. Will people talk bad? They will, but just screw them and turn the other cheek. Friends are those that will be there to console you, but best friends will go like, yeah y'know. (I have no idea what I'm saying).

What's there to be 'the worst of times', every second is a gift from God, that's why it's called the PRESENT. (I just adore this quote, it's so awesome and true) For every minute you spend being sad, you lose 60 seconds of happiness, not worth the barter eh? This about life, people. Sure some people may be sad-esque, but no hate from me. You were born this way. Gaga has taught us a beautiful lesson. Lessons are taught, but whether you want to learn is a totally different story.

So, like the psychiatrists would say, 'youuuuu're not saaaaaad, you are happyyyyyyyy' In a hypnotic tone. You are awesome. If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same, cause you're amazing just the way you are.

[Quoted: Lady Gaga, P!nk, Rihanna, Bruno Mars, Unknown Author, Babatunde Olantunji]

B.

Day 24

To the person that I gave my favourite memory
Dear you, I'm not gonna say who,

Because you're probably holding a piece of valuable information that could cost billions of dollars and if it ends up in the wrong hands, and I don't want you to get robbed or anything so I'll just leave you anonymous, but you know who your are. Yeah, you. :)

My favourite memory is that, oh wait, I'm supposed to tell you because it's top-secret on-a-need-to-know-basis-only and can cost billions like I said like 4 lines above? But you, you better remember it cause it will be only told once. Secrets are awesome, especially it they're juicy gossip-topics but then you forget them, so yeah. This is a random overdue post, but like every other one, it's just as original and awesome (Okay, maybe not original, but I'm not a plagiarist.

Remember it my dear, remember it. If you don't, sucks to be you. And partially due to the fact that I forgot my OWN favourite memory. Hah, cheers!

B.

Day 23

To the last person I kissed.

Dear Tek,

I kissed your hand today, I know you were like weirding out, but I did that just for this post. Smart right? So thus, here's the awkward post that people would think it's awkward and yeah. But since I'm so awesome, I did this post without having the need of being weird (or queer lol, well okay the kiss sounded gay). I succeeded though, no? Okay well there's nothing to write about, since it was just a weird impulsive hand-kiss. To be honest, I didn't actually intend on using it here, heck I even forgot today was 'The last person I kissed'-day, so yeah. But then I saw the topic of the day and this huge grin flashed across my face. Hah! Told you I could do this post, Meshell :D

B.

Day 22

To the someone I want to give a second chance to.

Dear Alvin, my retarded friend whom I just met this year,

I am psychic so don't think you can hide stuff from me. I know you're secretly dying for me to give you a second chance at being awesome, because somehow you failed the first time (quote; yourself).And that I will, I will give you a second chance to prove yourself worth of being included in an actual 30-Day-Letter-Challenge (30DLC) post. But until then, you're just a retarded-looking-yet-seriously-narcissistic bitch who is like so smart (but without actual common sense, just book smarts) [Intelligence and retardation have little to do with each other]. And I know you think I'm a trustworthy person, because I just am, duh. So yeah. Here's to your second chance of being awesome!

Cheers!

B.

Day 21

To the someone I judged by your first impression.

Dear Tek,

You are so what I thought of you, retarded but funny. Although I still don't know what made me think that but still, it was true. And don't you deny your retardedness, because there's no point denying what we all already know. I still sense something shady about you though. And since I'm partially psychic, yeah, you know the drill. And I can't believe your first impression of me was that I was a mature-serious guy. Well actually I am, but I never put it on my face before. There's like this perpetual smile here and I don't know how you got it, are you like, psychic too? But then again, you doubted your own prowess, so you still fail.

Dear Jayden,

While you were thinking I was a fluent-Chinese speaking guy, which is like 180 degrees around of the truth (this is epic), I was thinking that you were the kind of, well, prefect (like my dear weird friend Jeremy Tan), the good boy who finishes all his homework on time and pays attention in class like any form 1 person would expect a prefect to be, God damn I was totally wrong, no offense. Well yeah, both our first impressions of each other were wrong, but we get along swell. And I was totally in OMG-state when you said you speak Chinese at home.

Dear Jeremy,

Well you're totally not what I was expecting about you, sure you may be the generous kind awesome hardworking genius kid (okay maybe not that much anymore), but there's that perverted side of you that I never would have thought would come from a guy who looks so innocently pure like you. Guess this truly means don't judge a book by its cover eh? The first time we talked, which wasn't that long ago, at the beginning of the year (I don't know why I talked to you by the way, but I'm so glad I did), I was thinking Oh-Em-Gee this guy is like so innocent. Little did I know...Okay I guess I'm not psychic anymore, oh wait i said I was partially psychic, so I'm right. And the colourful language you possess, fascinating. And I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that you actually speak English at home. 'Cause you're like so typical Chinese, well not exactly anymore now that the image of you in my mind has been altered forever. So yeah. But we're friends right? And why the hell do you laugh for no apparent reason when you look at me? Oh well.

Dear other people who I've misjudged,

Apparently I was wrong, many times over. But first impressions are what keeps you going right, especially if they spawn from rumours, (put's on British accent) you certainly must find out! Cheers!

B.

Day 20

To the one that broke my heart the hardest.

Dear bitch,

Yes, you, the bitch that broke my heart and left me to die. How could you? I still can't believe you actually that. Stinking lying bitch.I hate your disgusting appalling guts. You just turn, walk, fall off a bloody cliff and just die. Hah, joking, you don't even exist. I'm just like, rambling on, and it doesn't seem pretty convincing. Nobody's ever broke my heart before because yeah, no heart to break, yes I am heartless. Hah, kidding, but I didn't give my heart to anyone yet so yeah, no heartbreak, not yet anyways. Guess who? Bah. (And the most not-so-nice words I ever use is only 'bitch', I'm sure an angel aren't I?)

B.

Day 19

To the someone that pesters my mind—good or bad.

To myself (good),

You're in my mind all the time, but not in that bad way, obviously. I think about you all the time, when your hidden emotions and feelings that you keep isolated from the dog-eat-dog world out that. It's a cruel world, so I'll just hide myself and give into the ways of others. I'm so tired of you always being the nice guy (Nice guys finish last, sometimes that's true, not always though.) Why don't you start being meaner, don't hide under someone else's shoes and thumb and speak up, that's how you get awesome. And Chester See is hot. I know you better than you think, because well you're me, like it or not.

Stuck at the crossroads of life, tough decisions and grueling challenges life throws at you, don't fret. God will never give you something you cannot handle. He knows your limits and well give you something you can do, or stretch the limit by a little bit. Snap out of it and live your life. You've got awesome friends around you, whether they're true friends or not (no offense) only time can tell. Cheers!

B.

Day 18

To the person that I wish I could be.
Well there are many people I wanna be, so yeah.

To Lady Gaga,

Holishyt, I wish I could be you. Not just because you're crazy and wacky, but also because you're mega-talented, you write your own songs, and can sing awesomely. Okay, maybe you're not the hottest person in the music business, but you're one kick-ass lady (Lady Gaga, get it?) You're also one for equality advocacy, which not many celebrities do. (Okay well a lot of them do, but that's just one of your philanthropic ventures right?). And super famous :D But it's not much about the fame part, I've actually never thought about that. And I just love your fashion sense, even though it's not ALWAYS awesome, but still. Gaga FTW. Paws up :D And you don't care what haters say about you. You don't give a shit (Y)

And to another person, real-life friend (who I wish to keep anonymous so you can randomly guess who),

You're like so smart and nice and awesome. Well I've already got the smart and and nice and awesome part (oh wait, I guess we're not that different, but still there are differences) Different personalities, I wonder how it would be like to be you. That is mind-boggling isn't it? Intriguing. Okay so maybe I'm not that smart, and I'm not that nice, and I'm not that awesome either. I'm just writing that to extend this letter so it won't feel so insincere.

Note: This can apply to many people, and it does. 

And to another, okay maybe not. (Hah!)

B.

Day 17

To the someone from my childhood.
To Weng Hei, my best friend whom I've know for more than 11 years,

I guess the greeting says it all, 11 years ago we were like, barely five. 11 years is a pretty long time, considering how friendships come and go. Even though the greeting says you're my best friend, don't get all high and mighty 'cause I got many awesome friends. Hah, just stating your narcissism. Which was like, so obvious in primary school. You would just blockade the entire road and only let people pass if they call you 美女.

We've got a lot in common. Obvious or otherwise. Same horoscope also! Aquarius ftw. Even though we've drifted apart in form 1 to 3, now that we're in the same class, we're awesome buds :D No, this is not of any means of flirting. Just shut up people. I'm an innocent guy, innocent I tell you! Rawr.

So anyways, if I said 'I wish we will be friends forever' sounds too generically Chinese, which I don't actually like because it's weird. VERY weird. So, I'll say, erm...Ahh, I don't wish to be friends forever, I know we will be. And I know you well, they say 'a best friend's eyes are the best mirrors' (or something like that, I don't exactly go search for the actual terms so yeah). XOXO.

B.

Day 16

To the someone that’s not in my state/country
Dear Janice Ooi Sue Yen,

Hello you, here you are again, my favourite internet friend. You live x miles away from me, you're in Penang and I'm in Selangor (x is an unknown, algebra, because I don't know how far it is). I still have high hopes to meet you someday, five years. Then when we're rich, let's go on a food tour. And gain tens of tens of kilos. Awesomeness, you're so gonna eat a fried scorpion. Even though I really wanna meet you in the flesh, somehow I feel unprepared. Strange right? But it's always the same with internet friends. And then they turn out the way you least expected, no offense, you're awesome :D

Here's to meeting up in five years, when we're 21. Cheers!

B.

Day 15

To the person I miss the most.
To myself,

I miss the old me, well actually not really, and I don't actually miss anyone that much right now. So, I'll just write this letter to myself then. You were the shy awkward fat kid in class, now you're just the awkward fat kid. (lol) I wonder why I miss you, your life has been so much more awesome than ever since you learned to laugh at everything and accept them as facts (except frauds and those). So, goodbye old me. But I still miss the childhood days where you were naive, innocent and all that. Okay, this is a waste of time, writing a letter just for the sake of writing a letter. It's not like you've been any better than I am now right? Okay, you lie a lot less and I admire that.

Sincerely,
B.

Day 14

To the someone I’ve drifted away from.
To you both, my childhood best friends,

It was you who I hung out with the most during primary school days, you who brought fun and awesomeness to my childhood. But sadly, we've grown apart, different schools in different districts with different cultural references and the ever-present language barrier and pretty much nothing in common. Occasionally I see you around the neighbourhood but that's that and nothing more. I miss the old days but then it would be very very very awkward if we reenacted it now, wouldn't it? Remember that time we got chased by a dog? And the time we mutilated a dead monitor lizard and chased by the old man and all that? Well I do. Last year was the last time  we've met I think at tuition, no more now. Sadness and sorrow, but hey, we all have to move on right?

Friends come and go, best friends come and go but stay in our hearts forever. But I think I will manage to keep my new relationships intact for a long long time. I'll be there for you guys when you need me and I hope you do the same. Cheers!

B.

Day 13

To the someone I wish could forgive me.
To myself, the retarded awkward person that I am,

I'm sorry for all the pain I've given you, well myself, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and other -allies. I am sorry for the horrid results I have obtained this term, and I want to make it up to you, well me. So, I'm making a vow to start studying for the finals starting mid-July, and I hope I don't disappoint myself in doing something I myself said I would, or I would hate myself for that. Forgive me in advance if I fail also.

There's more to this post than that, I've been cheating myself for so long that I don't know what and how long exactly anymore, but that heavy load of guilt that hovers overhead is impossible to ignore. So I'm sorry for all the misery I've put you, myself, through all this time.

But I am not hating you, well myself, for all the awkward face-throwing embarrassing retarded things I've done, no regrets there. I love myself and I will forgive myself. So, I am forgiven. :D

*Note: The pledge of studying for finals is totally on!

B.

Day 12

To the person I hate most/caused me a lot of pain.
To you, the annoying bitchy mosquito,

You and your little mosquito friends have sucked on my sweet life-giving blood long enough. I seem to be a blood bank for the hungry...mosquitoes. I know my blood is full of awesomeness and sweetness. (Am I diabetic, I myself don't know). You and your proboscis have caused swelling, itchiness and pain to me one time too many. The engorged inflamed skin that you've punctured with that apparently-sharp-enough-to-penetrate-through-my-skin proboscis left itchy protrusions on my already blemished skin, and caused me to scratch the 'site of incision' so hard that it sometimes bleeds and leave painful tiny open sores. That is a lot of pain. One of these days, I'm gonna get so pissed that I'm gonna go get my insect-spray and those electrical tennis racquet things and make you perish! I'm glorifying you enough by including you in a 'person' post, giving you humanistic cognitive abilities. Well that's that. I hate you bitches. Even though, I'm like haemophobic to my own blood, I still take joy in killing you and seeing my crimson blood splatter over your writhing, dead remains.

Remember, you were warned. -Puts on serious face and holds up imaginary electrical tennis racquet thingy-

B.

Day 11

To a deceased person I wish I could talk to.
To my grandfather whom I barely knew,

According to dad (and your tombstone) you died somewhere in the late 90's or the early 00's (can't really remember actually, sorry). Passing away is a term some people use for the deceased, which they claim is paying respect to the deceased, but I think it's so console yourself. You too agree that you've died right? But wherever you are now. I hope you're getting on well. Are there other spirits with you like they show on TV, or is that just the media's and the world's perspective on death and heaven and hell?

Well, I've never exactly met you as we stay far apart from each other, and we only visit like once a year when you were still around, I don't really know if you remembered my name. But then, I must've been, what, five or six then? Ages ago. But, from dad's stories I know you were a hard-willed man who worked hard with sweat, blood and tears to raise that enormous family you had. Well yeah, maybe I'll dig out more about my ancestry from my parents. To know your origins is also a part of self-discovery (right? I don't know, I'm just an innocent 16-year-old boy).

Here's to you, Gong2. Cheers!

B.

Day 10

To someone I don’t talk to as much as I’d like to
Dear you, (I'm giving you anonymity, this is to multiple persons)

I've known you for quite some time already, otherwise I wouldn't even bother with this. We used to talk a lot though, even with some undisclosed topics (you know what I mean) but now it seems like we're drifting apart. Well, no point regretting anyway.

To one of you, you've been acting kinda strange lately, you okay? Seems like a post-heartbreak thing, but I don't wanna intrude so I'll just leave it here. Maybe it's just an awkward phase that people say teenagers go through. But things seem to be progressing for the better and not the other way round.

To another one of you, you're my once-fabled-still-are-but-not-that-close-anymore older brother. I've never actually met you, which is kinda ironic. But lately we don't even talk, maybe when I'm older I'll pay you a visit, like we once said (oh God, that sounds so wrong).

And to the rest of the people that I don't talk to as much as I'd like to, I've known this saying for a long time but I just saw it resurface on Facebook like 10 minutes ago.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."

Let bygones be what they are -- bygones, and don't linger around in the past. Live life to the fullest, you never know what's coming late on, so cherish the present like a gift sent from heaven (hey that rhymed).

B.